Wingman Duty

I’ve been out sick for most of the week along with the rest of the city, so I haven’t been going out sarging. I haven’t even been socializing that much just because I’ve been feeling so awful. On the positive side though I did catch up on a lot of reading (the memoirs of Casanova) and did some other writing outside of this blog. Also, I managed to go out and play the role of wing man on Saturday night as a favor for one of my friends, even though I wasn’t in the best of conditions.

My friend (lets call him Timid Tom) is what people in the pick-up artist community would call AFC or average frustrated chump. Tom is kind of a shy guy, not very social and is especially not good at meeting women.

Despite my efforts to relay my knowledge of seduction to Tom he has remained very reluctant to change. I’m not trying to force him to change because I don’t think that is possible. I can only help and support change, not facilitate it.

Tom took a big step forward this weekend by calling Wingman Stick and I to go out and be his wing men. Apparently, Tom had finally asked a girl out who he has had a crush on for the last two years. He had agreed to go out to a club with her and her friends on Saturday night, so to level the playing field he invited me and Stick along.

Saturday night roles around and I am feeling much better with some lingering cold symptoms. Wingman Stick and I meet up with Timid Tom as we head downtown. I can tell that Tom is nervous because he is talking faster than normal and is acting very jumpy. I try to lighten the mood a bit by cracking some corny jokes and talking about other things.

We arrive downtown at the arranged meeting spot to find ourselves standing in front of three very beautiful women. Tom had done well, very well!

We make our introductions to each other. Among the girls are Simple Cindy (Tom’s crush), Aggressive Annie and a stunning woman who looks a lot like Brooke Burns (lets call her Bombshell Brooke). It looks like wingman duty is turning out to be pretty damn good.

Unfortunately, our meet-up time was a bit on the late side, around 11 PM which means we’d end up having to wait in a long line before finally getting into the club. Normally, this would be frustrating for me but I made the best of it by flirting with many of the other girls in the line. It also allowed us some time to banter with our three beauties.

We finally get inside the club and order our drinks. The three girls and Tom disappear into a corner somewhere to make small talk. Wingman Stick and I had a different plan. We decided to go around and approach some women. Now, you may be wondering why we would leave our three female companions out in pasture for the wolves. We did this for two reasons: 1) to get ourselves warmed up and 2) to display social proof by attracting other beautiful women.

Stick and I each took turns approaching for the next 45 minutes. In all we had approached a combined ten sets. Most of them were crash and burns. For some reason all the women in this club were very snobbish. It didn’t matter, we had fun doing it. It actually turned into a game where we’d try to see who could get shot down the fastest.

Later in the night after our final blow out, Bombshell Brooke and Aggressive Annie walked over to us.

“Hey, where have you two been? We’ve been looking for you.” Brooke said.

“Oh, we’ve been making friends” I replied with a sly smile.

“Yea I noticed you guys talking to all these girls. What, are you two some kind of ladies men?”

“Haha, well I don’t know about that. I think we are just really social that’s all. Hey, I think the band is about to come on, lets go check it out.” I say

We walk over to the stage area where we see Tom and Cindy. The band starts playing and dancing commences. Tom and Cindy start dancing together and then Stick and Annie begin dancing. This just leaves Brooke standing by herself slowly moving to the music. I switch into dance mode and give her the “come hither” motion. She grabs my hand as I pull her onto the dance floor.

Out of all my social skills, dancing is by far my strongest suit. I really have to brag here because I know that I am an exceptional dancer, in fact I get complimented on it all the time.

I am in full control as I move Brooke’s body around the floor in a graceful yet dominate fashion. A twirl here and a dip there; we pause for a moment in between songs.

“Oh my god, you are an amazing dancer. Where did you learn to do that?” she says

“I practice in the shower every morning!” I reply

She giggles and motions for me to continue dancing with her as the next song is played. I take a look around the room to see how my boys are doing. Stick is talking with Annie and Tom is slow dancing with Cindy. It seems like we are doing our duty as wingmen. Tom has isolated Cindy into an embracing slow dance while her friends are being kept occupied by Stick and I.

Towards the end of the night, I stop dancing with the intent of keeping Brooke isolated. We are still watching the band except now we are standing side by side leaning into each other. She keeps brushing up against me. This is a clear indicator of interest. Before I can escalate any further, Annie grabs my hand and drags me to the dance floor.

Somehow I get stuck dancing with Annie until closing time. There is a sudden rush to get home and I begin struggling with trying to arrange last minute logistics.

“Hey I’m starving, lets go to China Town and get some General Gao’s!” I blurt out.

But it’s no use. The girls were resisting my attempts to continue the night. I even try to get Bombshell Brooke to give us a ride home but it is no dice. It’s time to part ways.

We say our goodbyes making sure to arrange for another fun night, which they agree to. Just before leaving, I grab Brooke’s hand and pull her in for a quick kiss on the lips. I must have come on too strong because she quickly turns her head so that my lips hit the side of her cheek instead. Oh well, at least I took the risk.

The boys and I catch a cab home as we debrief each other on the night. Tom thanked us for being there. He says that it went well with him and Cindy, so I’m glad that he at least made some inroads with his crush, he definitely deserves it.

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